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LE MANS 2004
12th - 13th June
Where do you start?
That’s a question
that has plagued me ever since I got lumbered with the job of
writing the Le Mans 2004 review…so here we are with rewrite #9.
I’ve dabbled with
the ‘expectant father of his first child’ concept and lots of
other frankly tacky ideas and come full circle back to whatever
comes off the end of my fingers…
Whatever follows is
a personal account of Le Mans 2004 – one that will live in my
memories forever. I hope your memories are as good as mine and
that, like me, you will be back in 2005.
Let’s start with a
number – 1,980 – the number of pints of beer consumed during the
week – 10 pints per member; enough to impress our beer suppliers
who ran it through their calculator at least three times! Must try
harder next year though…
The week started
well for our hardy crew of volunteers as they were shown, by our
French friends, how to get trackside at the run up to Indianapolis
and away from Arnage up to the Porsche Curves – even for the
hardened Le Mans visitors this was a fantastic experience.
In true Speed Chills
fashion we then endeavoured to share the secret with as many
members as possible; I hope you were one of the lucky ones who got
to benefit!
Wednesday…flippin’
hot. As the venue started to take shape and Chris got the kitchen
organised, the Fartlight boys join us for dinner…steak & ale pie
with wilted greens I seem to recall.
“What’s for desert?”
they said
“Chris, what’s for
desert?” we said
“Nothing” he said
“Nothing?” they said
“We’ve got some
Curly Wurly's” we said
“Curly Wurly's all
round!” they said
…and thus a long
forgotten chocolate snack was to become a legend. Note to self –
more Curly Wurly's next year…certainly less filling than the
baguette and butter pudding that was to come on days to come…
Thursday night saw
lots more of you starting your residence in the rapidly filling
campsites and a great atmosphere develop. To add to the fun, we
had a coach full of Swedes staying in another part of the farm and
by midnight they could drink their cheap warm Danish lager no
longer.
Lars, their driver,
broke the ice with the unforgettable line of “I would like a
Guinness and Pinker Floyd very loud” (note for language scholars –
simply adding a random ‘er’ to Pink can make you sound Swedish).
Before we knew it, 3am and still drinking – pattern for the whole
event really!
Breakfast was a big
hit and by Friday morning the team were well groomed in the art of
serving over 100 of them a day. With breakfast out of the way it
was time to sit down with Chris and draw up the days menu –
“What’s for dinner?”
I said
“Beef Bourguignon”
he said
“Nice” I said
“Umm” he said
“Umm…how do you
spell it?” I said, still suffering from the night before
“Umm…” he said (at
this stage I realised he was suffering too)
…silence… (neither
of us said this, it just happened)
“borrre gee gnon” he
said (quietly…in fact, very quietly)
“Umm…” I said,
beating him to it this time…
“A-R-N-A-G-E” he
said triumphantly
…and so Beef Arnage
joined the humble Curly Wurly in the realms of legend.
By Friday afternoon,
as members recovered from the excesses of Mad Friday and made
their way into town to watch the ‘Grande Parade des Pilotes’, it
was time to reflect…
Reflection #1 - it
was barely 6 weeks since Chris, Paul and I had decided that we
would go for it and launch Speed Chills at Le Mans 2004 – we had
been on the edge of delaying (perhaps permanently) due to the
pressures of getting this beast off the ground whilst having
full-time jobs (& lives) to do. Quite an achievement, even if
there was plenty that we already wanted to improve for 2005; but
at least we were already looking ahead that far.
Reflection #2 – what
a fantastic bunch of guys I’m privileged to call my friends. They
were here, unpaid, working very long hours, away from their
families helping to make my dream come true. A very humbling
moment…
Reflection #3 – how
knackered we all were. The weekend had only just begun!
Reflections #4 thru
#7 are private, ask me next time you see me.
So, race weekend
dawns and with Full English Breakfasts on board you all wandered
off for the start. The first time since 1986 that I’d not stood
opposite the pits waiting for ‘the off’, instead it was time to
put my feet up with a beer and listen to Radio Le Mans and soak up
the atmosphere. Plenty of time to catch some track action I
thought…24 hours…bound to be able to get away for an hour here or
there.
As it happens, I did
get to see some racing – not a lot though. At 4am Sunday morning I
made the executive decision to lock the doors and jump in the car
with Paul – we were off to Arnage – the crucial viewing. This is
the essence of Le Mans to me and still raises the hairs on the
back of my neck all these years on.
This year was a
little different to previous years though…back to base to scrub
down the floors ready for breakfast service on Sunday morning. No
falling asleep over a cup of rapidly cooling black coffee
track-side for me…
Sunday morning
arrived too soon and another full house for breakfast. Some of you
were at least looking as tired as us for a change!
It was time to begin
roasting the hog and getting things arranged for the evenings
entertainment – the Canadian Grand Prix, followed by France v
England pro-celebrity hairdressing and Top Gear. The weather was
not going to be kind to us…
A strong breeze
threatened to blow away the marquee, was making the hog a pain to
cook properly, and most importantly to some, meant that we had to
tie back a lot of the makeshift shading for the screen – it was
going to be difficult to watch until it got dark. Oh, I nearly
forgot…it was also blowing much of the sound from the PA in the
opposite direction from where people were going to be seated. Not
going to be a relaxing evening for the crew then!
A lot of lessons
learnt for 2005 then…but this was 2004 and we were expecting
guests…200 of you to be exact.
The hog sold out in
minutes – it looked like it had met a shoal of piranha in a dark
alley on a dark night…and them piranha had blades…
By the time the
Canadian GP was decided and minds were turning to the footie we
were changing beer barrels every quarter of an hour!
Time to let you all
in on a little secret…we were worried that England would win ‘cos
we were rapidly running out of stocks of draft lager. There’s no
way the place would have run dry (too many years of practiced
alcoholism for that to happen), but bottles and cans just aren’t
the same are they?
As it happened we
needn’t have worried. We should have known that we could rely on
our national team to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Speed Chills
crew could start to relax now and enjoy the rest of the evening.
The S2000 mob provided much entertainment as they re-invented
boules as a full contact sport and, with Top Gear consigned to
history, the cry of “where’s the remote? We want porn!” saw plenty
of you happily entertained in the back garden.
By the early hours
of Monday morning the Speed Chills crew were alone again (apart
from Chris – more of whom later). Just like our normal trips,
there we were staying up too late, drinking beer and swapping
tales. Until that is we found a copy of The Pogue's Greatest Hits
– two minutes later and we’re all stood in silence as crew member
Matt ‘never knowingly out-weirded’ Slade and the aforementioned
Chris gave it large! Quality!
With everyone now
running on adrenalin fumes it was time to call it a day – not
before Chris decided he’d have my Ferrari shirt though - as those
with a marketing disability would put it ‘the customers even had
the shirts off our backs’!
Well they you have
it…a very personal review of the first ever Speed Chills Private
Members Club…but not the last that’s for sure!
But, enough of the
‘I’ stuff.
Chris, Paul & I want
to take this opportunity to thank our members for their support
and patronage – you made it all worthwhile!
To our crew - you
made it all possible! Guy’s you were awesome! In no particular
order…
Adam Hay –
for wiring everything in sight and being ‘pig boy’ for most of
Sunday
Dave Medlock
– for being the 4th man
Dave Sharratt
– for everything we could throw at you
Nigel Scott –
for supreme ‘front of house’ service - our mild-mannered superman
Martin Perrin
– for being barman extraordinaire and always being there
Matt Slade –
just for being you. A new member of the crew and now an essential
part of any Speed Chills adventure
Simon ‘whaat?’
Lancaster – for being a star and for choosing us over Canada
Michael Daynes
- for all the stories and the calming influence of a man who has
been there and seen that
Martin Scampion
– for all the advice and bullying
Alan Flux –
for letting Martin talk you into it!
Darren & Annie
– for sterling efforts behind the bar and in the kitchen
respectively
Wesley McCullough
– for being as laid back and relaxing to be with as usual
Guy Gisborne
– for showing us all how to avoid hangovers…don’t drink!
& the two Kev’s
for helping us break down on Monday…a day when the act of
breathing was an effort and thinking impossible… |
